For the last couple of weeks I've been working on new designs for our website non-stop.
I also started using the badge press again last week. Bearing in mind I hadn't made any badges at all in 7 weeks, it was a bad idea to make 100 a day 3 days running. See how good I am at understatements? I ache from head to toe physically and I'm mentally burnt out.
I know what I'm trying to do, and it's futile. I'm trying to avoid thinking, to blot out the inevitable.
Why?
Well, babies are everywhere aren't they? If they weren't we'd all be panicking about the end of the worrrrrrrld *said in mock-hysteric tones*
I love babies, and wee nippers. One day I might like one of my own, yanno :)
Two of my friends gave birth this week.
I'm thrilled for them, especially so for Lisa, who had the pregnancy from hell. Hyperemesis, SPD, topped off with an emergency C-section. That's a woman who deserves every happiness.
So do I, one day.
One day.
Perhaps when fate stops playing football with me?
On another less pitiful note, James and I have decided to use condoms for the next 2 months during which we have to avoid getting me pregnant (allowing me to fully recover). I don't want to bugger up my fertility by going back on the pill for just 2 months, and have us trying to get pregnant again and for it to take ages. Time is getting on. Presuming of course I can still get pregnant. We'll see.
The health kick is going well. It's been 4 days, so I haven't exactly had much scope to cock up yet. I'm going swimming on Wednesday. I shall be exfoliating myself half to death for the next couple of days trying to get rid of the orange peel skin so the dash from changing room to pool is slightly less hideous.
Well, less hideous than it'll be anyway as I waddle poolside and climb down the ladder like an arthritic beach ball on legs. Thank God it's going to be 7.30 am when I go swimming. Hopefully there won't be too many people in there :)
Still, I have to start somewhere, and looking at it positively, that's the worst I'll ever look on this journey :)
Youre braver than me to go swimming at 7:30am!!! JEZUS!!!
ReplyDeleteYou do right to avoid the pill for a couple of months. I have no doubt things will work out for you and you'll be holding your own little bundle of joy one day and I for one will be over the moon for you.
For now enjoy the year this year, have a great wedding, enjoy a final holiday and do all those fun things. You'll be where you want to be before you know it. x
First of all (Hi Lisa!!) Congrats to Lisa on her new, and well deserved bundle of joy!!
ReplyDeleteSecond of all, Leah, my sweet and wonderful brave friend, I know what you are going through. It is not easy, not by a long shot. Trying to conceive, whether by surprise or purposely, is not an easy journey. There are sometimes way too many bumps in the road and plenty of wrong turns. However, the result is worth the hellish trek we must endure.
I have been there. And, I know one of my better half's sisters had a situation similar to yours.
She became pregnant...and not too far into the pregnancy, her tube ruptured due to the ectopic implantation. She nearly bled to death, and they removed one tube.
That was before I met Hank, so over 10 years ago.
Today, she is blessed with 2 with 2 beautiful girls. One is 4, the other about 19-20 months. So believe me when I say miracles can happen :) Even for those of us who believe it is one hell of a long shot. She is older than either of us, and yet was still blessed by the grace of God with these beautiful, healthy little girls. Gives us all hope, eh? :)
I agree, avoiding the pill is a good idea. because the hormones associated with it could really throw you out of kilter. Most importantly, take things day by day. Live life and smile, and know that there is a plan for all of us. (I know this may not help but) and there are many children who would love a mommy like you. Keep your head up love. and I hope I didn't offend you in any way with this post. The road to motherhood isn't easy for me to discuss, so I may inadvertently say the wrong thing. Plus, Conjunctivitis is making my eyes very bleary right now.
Much love to you!!
MY GOD! I can actually post on my own blog after 3 days! :)
ReplyDeleteThank you ladies.
Swimming was brilliant, and I can't wait to go back. It's such a boost! You soon realise once you're in there that everybody has their lumps and bumps and none of it matters. I've bought some goggles and a nose clip because I intend to get serious about swimming, and not just go for a lark.
We're actually going to try to pop one out before the wedding, Lis. I think know we have the hang of the fertile days and all that jazz, with luck we might crack it again relatively shortly. It took 7 months before, but that was after coming off the pill after 7 years solid and not knowing what my fertile days were until 2 months before I got prego. By not going back on the pill at all, I'm hoping things will happen sooner.
I don't want to wait until after the wedding to try again as I'm going to be 38 when we get married. We need to get a shift on :)
Thanks Christina. I know you've struggled a lot too. You didn't upset me at all, far from it. Hank's sister's experience gives me hope. There are a couple of other ladies on Facebook who've had ectopics and gone on to have babies, as I hope I will one day. It's nice to know real life people who go on to have kids, not just statistics. I know I'll be taken good care of next time around in case the same thing happens again. I can have a scan at about 6 weeks and regular blood monitoring. Trying to lose weight and getting fit with the swimming will only help out with conception and keeping me well if I get knocked up again :)