A letter to the 'higher power' and to the unborn baby, and some facts about week 6

Dear Higher Power (insert deity as preferred: God, Goddess, Allah, Mohammed, Mother Earth, Flying Spaghetti Monster, etc etc)

I feel a sense of calm about the baby and am enjoying making plans for the future, but there's a niggling little voice in my head telling me that every time I've ever dared to hope - that soaring hope that flies like a balloon in the wind - it all comes crashing down around my ears. Please let the little voice be wrong. I don't mind the nausea because I know then that baby bean is OK. I don't mind what happens to me as long as the baby is OK.

I've gone off a lot of junk I used to eat before, particularly crisps. I loved crisps, but I've only eaten one bag since I found out I was pregnant. I'm not driven to eat chocolate to excess either. It's like a switch has gone off in my head now I know I'm going to be a mum. I've been going for a walk every day too. I never thought I could lose weight before, but I know I can do it now. I never felt that I mattered much before, and have always put everything and everyone else before me. When I saw a hypnotherapist briefly, she quickly tuned into how I put myself last. I've been doing it so long I don't even know I'm doing it. My mum and dad split up when I was a very small kid, so I felt protective towards my mum, and I always felt protective towards my younger brother too. I've always had this overbearing sense of responsibility with regards other people, yet have always left myself out of this equation somehow.

Finally for the first time in my life I feel like I matter enough to take care of myself. I feel like the baby is going to be my new start. It'll give me a new purpose.

To my little bean: You may be about the size of a grain of rice now, but I love you so much. I can't wait to have a bump so I can cradle you. I can't wait to see you little face in a scan. I wonder who you'll look like, me or James, or a mix of both? I wonder if you'll be a firebrand like me, or more of a closed book like James?

From Askbaby.com about this stage of pregnancy:

You

You may or may not be feeling too different, however you will probably be feeling tired and maybe irritable. You may notice your breasts are bigger and tender. The hormones flooding the body to help your baby grow may mean you may begin to feel sick in the morning, though many women have 'morning sickness' during the day. You may also wee more often as your womb swells and put pressure on your bladder. Avoid certain foods like raw or undercooked meat, soft cheeses or raw or runny eggs as these may contain bugs that could harm your baby. Irritable, moi?! Hahaha. My boobs are like missiles ready to be launched. I only have nausea on a day of the week with a Y in it ;) 

Your baby

This week facial features are now beginning to appear. Folds on either side of the head mark your baby's ears and there are openings for the mouth and nostrils. The retinas of your baby's eyes are also developing. Your baby should measure about the same size as a grain of rice. Your baby's length is measured from the top of your baby's head to the bottom, known as crown-rump length. Your embryo will be visible on an ultrasound scan as a tiny blob, with distinct heart movements. The umbilical cord is now fully formed and so have the beginnings of fingers, toes and facial features. The embryo floats in a fluid-filled sac which contains all that is needed whilst the placenta is formed. Awwww!

AMAZING! 

I'm 6 weeks on Saturday.